"Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full"

One of my sweet friends gave me a book at my baby shower for the twins. It's called Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full: Gospel Meditation for Busy Moms by Gloria Furman. I have so many books that I have been meaning to read and am slowly plucking my way through them and sadly this book was nowhere near the top of the list because I forgot I had it! However, God has a very special way of bringing things to happen at exactly when they are needed. I was starting to think that this whole twin thing was going to be a lot easier than I thought until... THE BABIES STARTED WAKING UP! They are sleeping through the night (YAY! although I still have to wake up at night to pump) but they are starting to be awake more during the day and are demanding much more of my time these days, as is my 21 month old. So this book came back onto my shelf at a very good time, just as life is starting to get a little overwhelming again. I have only read the introduction so far but I wanted to share a little snippet of what is to come. I can't wait to finish and be able to tell you all about it!

"The circumstances of your motherhood may be difficult, troublesome, and confusing. Even so, there is a circumstance that supersedes all the complexities of your life. It is the simple truth that the one great, permanent circumstance in which you live is that you have been allowed to walk in newness of life as you are united to Christ by faith through grace. Our joy cannot be wrapped up in motherhood but only in God. All of us need to allow the Spirit to do his 'indoor work' and marvel as the Lord cultivates sweet, inward contentment in our heart as we learn to trust him."

What this means to me is that no matter how crazy my life is, there is something bigger. There is someone bigger. I don't deserve any of these blessings that God has bestowed on me because I am a wretched sinner! So undeserving. But God has chosen to offer me (and anyone else who seeks it) His grace and I have the opportunity to live a new life in Him. That is the most important thing. It doesn't matter that I am trying to care for four children five and under and all that goes with that. All that matters is that I am a new creation. I can't give all that I am to my children. That won't get me anywhere but a loony bin! It is only by putting my trust in God that I can learn to be content in my difficult and hectic life. He will teach me how to see joy in ALL circumstances, which is sort of a theme in my life right now. This is obviously a work that God has been doing in me over the last year and I still have a lot to learn!

If you are a mom, it might be worthwhile to check out this book! I haven't read it yet and can't endorse it FULLY, but if the introduction is a true reflection of what this book is about, I say it's a must read for any mama (busy or not)!

By the way, the first chapter of this book is called Hands Full of Blessings.
*wink wink* *nudge nudge*

Lactation Foods Fit For the Whole Family

My very own creation- lactation granola bars. 

Since the twins have had some pretty major latch issues and won't nurse, I have been exclusively pumping to provide their milk. They are currently getting about 70-80% breast milk, but that changes rapidly from day to day. If I had one baby I would have more than enough! So in addition to pumping around the clock, I have been trying to increase my milk supply naturally through food. There are four basic ingredients that I have been using to do this: oatmeal, brewer's yeast, flax seed, and almonds. I have made cookies, granola bars, smoothies, and parfait, and they have all shown some sort of an impact on my milk supply. Crazy, but true! You can find any number of recipes for lactation cookies online but these recipes are the ones I use because they are fast and easy. Who has time to bake 2 dozen cookies?!

Lactation Preacher Cookies (no-bake)

So far I have noticed these giving the biggest and most obvious boost in my supply. A day without these and I only manage 2-4 ounces every time I pump compared to 4-6 ounces. Once I start eating them again it only takes a couple hours to notice a difference. 

1 stick butter

*2 cups sugar 

1/2 cup milk

4 tbsp cocoa powder

1 tbsp vanilla extract

1 cup peanut butter

3 cups oatmeal 

3 or 4 tbsp brewer's yeast

1/2 cup ground flax seed

1/2 cup sliced almonds, crushed

Melt butter over medium heat then add sugar, milk, and cocoa. Bring to a boil over medium heat, stirring often. Boil for 1 minute then remove from heat. Add vanilla and peanut butter, stirring until peanut butter is melted. Mix in all other ingredients. Drop in spoonfuls on waxed paper and let sit for a couple hours to harden. 

Enjoy a cookie (or two) every time you sit to feed the baby or pump. 

*You can use less sugar but the cookies will not harden as well on their own. They will need to be kept in the fridge. I used 1.5 cups and they were still good but goopy unless refrigerated. 

These are very popular cookies in my family. This is what I found in the kitchen after a fresh batch had been made recently:

Someone was sneaking some cookies!

Lactation Parfait

No recipe here, but I wanted to tell you about my new favorite breakfast! I use frozen berries- either strawberries, cherries, blueberries, or a mixture. I thaw them a little in the microwave then add old fashioned oats, homemade yogurt (find my recipe here), 2 tbsp ground flax seed, 1 tsp brewer's yeast, and sugar. Usually a couple teaspoons to cover up the horrendously terrible brewer's yeast taste! On days that I don't eat either this or regular oatmeal with flax seed and brewer's yeast, I struggle with my supply in the middle of the day. It's amazing how my supply can be so fickle! 

Lactation Granola Bars

I found a recipe for honey oat bars in a cook book and it inspired me to fit it to my own lactation needs. My family loves these so much that I might need to impose a limit because I will need to make more very soon! 

1 stick butter

1/2 cup sugar

2/3 cup honey

1 tsp cinnamon

3 cups oats

1/2 cup raisins

1/2 cup sliced almonds, crushed

1/2 cup crushed peanuts

1/2 cup flax seed

1/2 cup chocolate chips

2 tbsp brewer's yeast

Melt the butter over medium heat. Add the sugar, honey, and cinnamon and bring to a boil over medium heat, stirring often. Let boil one minute, stirring constantly, then remove from heat. Add all other ingredients and mix well. Push into 9x13 baking dish lined with wax paper. Place in refrigerator for at least an hour. Cut into desired shapes. 

If using chocolate, these would probably be best to stay cold so they don't get so goopy. In the future, I might not use chocolate chips, although they sure do make them GOOD! You really can add anything you want to these. I thought about coconut but I didn't think it would go well with raisins. You can add dried cranberries, dried cherries, other kinds of nuts, the possibilities are endless! For lactation purposes, I would keep the brewer's yeast, flax seed, and almonds, though. I'm sure that no matter what you put in these, they will taste great! 

Note: you can find brewer's yeast with the nutritional supplements, not baking items. I ordered both the brewer's yeast and flax seed from Amazon. 

Now go ahead and enjoy these, whether lactating or not! 

A Day in the Life

I start the day with a middle of the night pumping session. I drink lots of water every time I pump:

Hubby gets the kids up to give them breakfast and the babies and I snooze a little bit until he goes to work:

I pump again and eat a high protein/high fiber breakfast (usually yogurt and oatmeal):

After breakfast I make an assembly line for diaper changes:

I try to find time to do school work with my big 5 year old, who loves it! Sister likes to do some too:

Then I pump again:

And feed the babies again:

My son has become obsessed with the Price is Right so we watch it a few times a week (the TV has taken up a new temporary residence on the radiator or the piano ever since the babies were born- it is going back to our bedroom soon):

I eat a lactation cookie or two every time I pump to help my supply so every few days I have to make more: 

I pump again, and drink water, and wonder what my children have been up to all day because the living room isn't that messy:

I feed the babies again:

Daddy comes home from lunch and feeds the kids and puts the older ones down for their naps. I do dishes, which are about 90% bottles:

During nap time I try to nap while I do a "power pump," 10 minutes on and 10 minutes off for an hour. With my handy dandy hands free pumping bra-type thing I am able to rest! The babies are usually sound asleep during this time, which is a HUGE blessing to me:

After the kids wake up I try to do something fun to distract us all while we anticipate Daddy's homecoming:

Then I start supper and pray that the babies won't wake up. Daddy comes home and he is instantly surrounded with children:

I pump again (this is a picture my son drew of me in my most common state- pumping):

Then I feed the babies. We all eat dinner then clean up the living room and play room because who wants to wake up to this in the morning (minus the kids, they are pretty cute):

My husband puts the kids to bed while I soothe fussy babies. We do one more load of dishes, I pump again, we feed the babies again, and then go to bed. My sweet husband wakes up in the middle of the night to feed the babies (usually just once) and I wake up to pump twice and help feed the babies then the day starts all over! 

It is busy and hectic but I LOVE IT!! 

Encouragement for Moms

As I've had some time to reflect on life with twins and two other children, I have realized some very interesting things about God's undeniable love for me. Of course I am no expert in motherhood, only having been a mom for 5 years, but I would still like to encourage those who are scared, overwhelmed, and having trouble trusting in God's perfect plan for their lives.

When I found out I was expecting twins, I was TERRIFIED! I know myself and know that I get overwhelmed very easily. I really started to question God and why He would choose me to be a mom of twins, especially when I already had two other kids, one who was barely a year old!! I did not know how I would be able to juggle being a good wife and mother, taking care of the house, and maintaining my already fragile emotions well enough to avoid falling into a pit of depression. I remember asking God in tears why he chose me to have this life when I am so weak!! At times I would allow myself to feel God's peace. He would remind me through His words from the Psalms, "Be still and know that I am God," and His words from Jeremiah, "I know the plans I have for you, plans for a hope and a future. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you." I would read these words and be comforted. But at times I still had a lot of fear of the unknown. I wanted to trust God but really struggled with letting go.

Then our twins were born. I was so happy and yet so scared! But you know what? I made it through the first week. Then I made it through the second week by myself with the twins. Then I made it through my first day with all four children by myself. I asked for God's help and encouragement, and He gave it to me. Now the babies are two months old and we are doing well! I remember thinking that having twins would be good for me because it would force me to get my act together. I can see now how correct I was! But it wasn't me getting my act together. I could not have managed without God's strength (and the help of so many amazing family members and friends). I can't tell you how many times I have heard, "I don't know how you manage!" But I am here to tell you that I don't manage! If I did not ask God daily for His help, I would be sitting in a puddle of tears on the floor, unable to function. God has enabled me to not only survive the day, but to be more organized and keep the household running as well. It is not necessarily clean or tidy, but my children are well cared for, I can get supper on the table, and I can get us in and out of the house in one piece. I have my moments of feeling overwhelmingly ill-equipped to be doing this job and I know that I will have many more. There are days that I am on the verge of tears all day. But with God's help, I am doing it, which is honestly more than I thought I could handle.

God has also blessed me with an amazing army of helpers. He placed people in my life who are kind and willing to take time out of their busy lives to help us out. I have been reminded numerous times that God did not intend for any of us to do this alone. He created families and communities to come along side one another and lift each other up. I am so thankful for these people allowing themselves to be used by God to bless our family.

God has shown me time and time again that He loves me and He has a plan for my life. I have seen His divine intervention in my life many times and I can see it now, in the way that He has provided a way for me to manage my handful of blessings.

So I encourage mothers, no matter how many children you have, to stop thinking in terms of your own strength, or what YOU can handle. Because I guarantee you, if you try to do it on your own, it will be much more difficult. Let God be your strength, for when we are weak, He is strong. Let yourself be overwhelmed with His love, not your circumstances.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Welcoming Our Newest Little Blessings

I had lots of plans for welcoming the babies on this page but for some reason, which I can't quite figure out, I haven't had much time to post in the last six weeks! So here is a very long and hopefully not too boring update of our growing family!

It was Groundhog Day and the morning started off quite warm but foggy. We had to be at the hospital very early for the c-section, which was scheduled for 8:30 (I think, the times and details of that day are a little foggy, kinda like the weather). I never did find out what the groundhog saw that day but I have a vague memory of watching Groundhog Day with Bill Murray while I was still on my high after having babies. I spent a couple hours in a tiny room getting prepped for surgery then I said goodbye to my mom and they wheeled me off. They parked my bed in the hall outside the operating room and I walked inside with great joy, knowing that was the last time I would ever have to walk with the enormous weight of that belly! My husband stayed outside while they got everything ready. I really wish they would have let him in for that part because I was TERRIFIED of getting the spinal block. I had a very bad experience from the spinal block with my first baby, which was actually one of the big motivators I had for having a home birth with my second baby. I really didn't want to have another c-section and get a spinal! I had an amazing nurse, named Jane, who let me lean on her while I did lamaze-type breathing to calm myself down. They knew about my history and the STUDENT anesthesiologist placed the spinal block with no complications at all. I felt the warmness starting to creep up my body and I was so relieved! Once they had me draped and they let my husband in, things seemed to happen pretty quickly. I felt a lot of movement and tugging and my doctor said, "Here comes Baby A!" He held her up for us to see and I felt the tears instantly starting to burn my eyes. Not even 30 seconds later they were holding Baby B up for us to see. I had worked SO HARD to bring those babies into the world and I felt an incredible mix of emotions listening to them cry. One thing that sticks out in my mind is how they didn't have those little newborn cries that you hear when you imagine your baby's first cry, but they SCREAMED like their big sister! "waAAAAAAH! waAAAAAAH!" They definitely didn't have any trouble breathing! They first brought Baby A over and said that she weighed 6lbs 4oz, which is an incredible weight for a twin. My husband held her and I was able to sort of wrap my arm around her. Then a nurse came with Baby B and said that she weighed 5lbs 12oz. She held her next to her sister and I saw them together for the first time- my little pumpkins!

After that it was time for my husband and the babies to go to the nursery and I stayed put while they sewed me up. My awesome doctor tried to keep me entertained by talking about the Super Bowl, which was the night before. I wasn't in the mood to talk about it though because my beloved Seahawks had lost, and they did it very poorly. Actually I am only an avid fan when they are doing really well and go to the Super Bowl but still, it was very disappointing! Then the doctor and his med student started talking about the half time show and I decided that was a good time for a little nap because I had no interest in the half time show. We watched I Love Lucy (Ricky's Home Movies) instead! Anyway, when it was time to go to recovery, I was pleasantly surprised to hear that I would be able to hold my babies and try to nurse them for the first time. The second most dreadful part of my first child's birth (the first being the spinal block) was having to go to recovery without knowing a single thing about my baby! I had to stay there for almost 2 hours without my husband and without my baby. They said to rest and take a nap but how can you when you know nothing about how your baby is doing?! Okay, back to the twins. So they brought B in first and I held her skin to skin and gave her a little nibble. Then A came in and we did the same. At some point my mom tried to come in, twice, and the nurse shooed her away, saying it was Mommy, Daddy, Baby time. I was so happy to have that time with our new little bundles.

The rest of the day really is a blur. In fact, the rest of the hospital stay is kind of a blur! I know that I was in a lot of pain, more than I was after my first c-section, and the pain meds just weren't cutting it even though we were staying on schedule. My doc made hearts come out of my head when he increased the doses without question even though the nurses had said that he probably wouldn't. The babies didn't nurse at all the first day and spent the night in the nursery and had to have a bottle due to low blood sugar. I was very disappointed and confused because I felt like a pro breastfeeder since I had already nursed both of my other children until they were a year old. We stayed in close contact with the nurses and a lactation consultant and I started pumping and we finger fed the babies while in the hospital. They never caught on to nursing. I kept telling myself that they would be just fine if they had to be formula babies. Many a great men and women were fed formula and turned out fantastic! But my heart hurt because I was supposed to be their source of nutrition. It was my job as their mother to feed them my liquid gold and no matter how many times I told myself and told other people that I was okay with it, I really wasn't! I have come to accept the fact that they may have to be on bottles but I am still working on it. More on that later...

Do you remember that I had to deliver the babies a little bit early because of my very mild pre-eclampsia? Well, in most cases the way to cure pre-eclampsia is to deliver the baby. But in my case, it got worse after! There were no signs of it in the hospital but over the first week my swelling increased and I felt lightheaded and had a very terrible headache, despite still being on my pain meds. One leg was significantly more swollen than the other so I had to go back to the hospital to get an ultrasound to check for a blood clot. That was negative but when we went to see my doctor after that, my blood pressure was higher than it's ever been. I don't think it was an incredibly dangerous blood pressure, but it was obvious that things weren't right. SOOOO, he put me on some blood pressure medicine, which I am still taking almost 2 months later. He still wasn't happy with my numbers at my post-partum check up last week so it looks like I'll be on it for a little while longer until I follow up with my family doctor in a couple months. He didn't really say why this is happening, I don't even know if he knows, but I am just going to blame it, like everything, on hormones and having twins!

The first week home was very overwhelming for me! I was terrified to be left alone with both babies. I didn't know how to feed them both and the thought of taking care of all four of my children at the same time was utterly terrifying! I made my husband take an extra couple of days off because I wasn't ready for him to go back to work but then something inside me snapped, and I suddenly decided that I could take care of the twins on my own. It was another week or so before I spent any significant amount of time alone with all four but because of our loving family and amazing friends, I was able to slowly work my way into being the mother of four. A few hours alone one week, then two days the next week, then three, then the time finally came when I had all four at home with me all week!! Now it feels completely normal and I hardly remember a time when I didn't have all of my little gifts from God at home with me.

When the babies were 2 weeks old they caught a cold. It wasn't too bad, but they were congested. At first it didn't affect their eating or sleeping but after about a week, Baby B was having a hard time getting all of her bottles in. When she projectile vomited all of the food she had taken in that day and I noticed that she had a very slight fever, I called our doctor, who told me to take her to the ER. I thought that they would just say she has a cold, suction her nose as often as you can, and send us home. However, the cold had caused her to get a little dehydrated and she had low muscle tone so they admitted her to the hospital. We stayed for about 30 hours, plus the 7 or 8 hours we had spent in the ER overnight. It was a very scary and exhausting time for us but we knew that things could be a lot worse. All she needed were some IV fluids and a little TLC and she was fine. They let us keep her sister in the room with us, which was a complete blessing. Again, I am so thankful for our wonderful family, who took care of everything at home for us, and for awesome, godly friends who prayed for us! They both had to be brought to the ER a week later because they were very congested and their chests were sucking in when they breathed, but that time they suctioned their little noses and told us to keep an eye on them but said they were fine and we brought them home. They are both over that dreadful cold and are doing very well!!

Big brother and sister are doing so well! There is nothing like having baby twin sisters to make a five year old grow up! He has taken on many responsibilities and I am so proud of him! He has been unloading the dishwasher, picking up his toys (and his sister's toys), running errands around the house for us, and taking care of his sister while I am tied to babies or a pump. He gets her food, water, plays with her, and comforts her when she is sad. He also helps her in and out of the van and unbuckles her from her carseat, which is a huge help because she is still rear-facing in the back seat. He has a new love of superheroes (which he really knows nothing about but enjoys making up facts) but I think that he has become something of a superhero himself in the last couple of months. Baby girl has really surprised us! Before the babies were born she was showing a lot of jealousy towards her brother spending time with mommy and daddy so she had us a little worried about what life would be like with two new babies but she has done amazingly well! She hasn't shown much jealousy towards them at all. In fact, she loves them so much! She showers them with affection, sometimes deadly affection! There have been a couple of instances when I had to pull her off of one of the babies because she fell on top of them trying to give hugs. She likes to lay her head on their heads and she LOVES to help us burp them. She enjoys being a big helper and often brings us diapers. They are usually her own diapers and she rarely brings fewer than four at a time, but she thinks she is helping and that's what counts. :-) We are starting to see a lot of little attitude issues arising and know that it is only the beginning. She is going to keep us on our toes for sure! At 19 months she now has a very vast vocabulary, consisting of words like, babies, mommy, dada, brother (bubba), no, yep, bye bye, cup (bup), right now, up, down, more, night night, I don't want to, I don't like that, water, more please, cheese (for pictures, not the food), and many more that I can't think of right now. She also says a lot of stuff that nobody can understand!

Okay, now back to feedings...
This has been the biggest struggle for us. We have been bottle feeding the girls since they were a week old when we realized that finger feeding was only meant as a very short-lived temporary solution and they were not catching on to nursing. We have tried a few different kinds of bottles, attempting to find a better fit for transitioning to nursing, all of which haven't helped. They tend to lift their tongues to the roof of their mouths, which makes nursing very difficult. Things got even more complicated when the girls were congested and at times we have gone through bad dry spells where we didn't even attempt to nurse for days due to scheduling conflicts and supply issues. However, I spent this last weekend doing a "nurse-in" of sorts. The kids went to their grandma and granddaddy's house and my husband and I hung out in our pjs all day with the babies constantly attached to me. When they weren't nursing, they were skin to skin with me so that they could learn to desire to be close to me. My amazing husband took care of diapers and kept me fed and hydrated the whole weekend. We made huge improvements! We are still a long way from exclusively breastfeeding and not needing to pump at all, but my supply almost doubled so they are at least only drinking breast milk and nursing MOST of the time. I know that the day might come when they will just figure it out and all of this pumping/bottle feeding/nursing routine will be a distant memory, but I also know that they may never catch on and I'm okay with that! I know that if they don't end up nursing I gave it my best shot and I didn't give up just because it was hard. I still have a few emotional issues to work out about this, but I know that we'll all by okay. Please pray for us as we continue on this exhausting nursing adventure!

So now that things are calming down a bit and life is beginning to get back to normal, well a new normal anyway, I am hoping to post on here more frequently. I still have a post waiting to be published about making home made ice cream at Christmas time! Life is never boring with four children so I should have some things to say. As the title of my blog says, I might have my hands full but they are full of blessings and I am so excited to see where God is leading our family!

Twin Facts

Being on bed rest gives me lots of time to think. And sit around. And read. And watch Netflix. So I need things to fill my time! Here is my list of Twin Facts that you may or may not know:

• There are two types of twins, monozygotic, or identical, and dizygotic, fraternal
• Identical twins occur when one egg is released and is fertilized by one sperm. Within the next couple of days the egg splits and becomes two separate individuals who share identical genetic information. 
• Fraternal twins occur when two eggs are released and both are fertilized by different sperm. These twins are genetically the same as any other sibling. 
• Within the group of monozygotic twins are two types, monochorionic-diamniotic (mo-di), which share a placenta but have their own amniotic sacs. A great majority of identical twins are mo-di (mine included). Monoamniotic-monochorionic (mo-mo) twins share a placenta and an amniotic sac and make up about 1% of all identicals. There are a lot of risks associated with mo-mo twins, including umbilical cord entanglement, causing life threatening issues for both babies. Mo-mo twins must be very closely monitored throughout the pregnancy.
• Fraternal twins are the most common type and make up about 2/3 of all twin pregnancies. 
• Fraternal twins can run in families, passed on through the mother's side. It is a myth that twins skip a generation and can be passed through the father's side (supposedly). 
• Identical twins are not genetic (again, supposedly) and occur spontaneously. However, it can't be a coincidence that our girls are the third set of identical girls in three generations in a row in my husband's family. There are also two other sets of twins in his family's history, one possibly identical and the other is unknown since the twin died at birth.
• The least common type of twins are identical boys while the most common is boy/girl fraternal twins
• Some people think it is impossible to nurse twins, but it is more than possible! Nursing is all about supply and demand- the more demand for milk, the more the mother's body will produce. 
• The easiest way to tell the difference between identical twins may be the belly button because it is simply a scar that developed from the detachment of the umbilical cord.
• Identical twins can be mirror twins, developing the same characteristics on opposite sides of their bodies. One may be right handed, the other left handed and they may have moles or birthmarks on opposite sides. It is estimated that 25% of identical twins are mirror images of one another. 
• If identical sisters married identical brothers, their children would be cousins but would genetically be equal to full siblings!
• Women in their 30s and 40s are more likely to conceive twins due to changes in hormones and irregular cycles. This can increase the odds of releasing more than one egg at a time. 
• Tall women and women who are significantly overweight also have greater odds of conceiving twins. It has something to do with hormones, which can be blamed on any number of occurrences within a woman's body. 
• Up to 40% of twins develop their own language when communicating with one another. Check out this super cute video!
• Contrary to popular belief, mothers don't typically feel twins move any earlier than singleton babies. It is most common to feel them move for the first time around 18-20 weeks, especially for first time mothers. Just like with any other pregnancy, mothers who have had previous babies may feel them move sooner because they can recognize the difference between typical gas bubbles and baby movements.
• With the number of risks associated with twins, many are born prematurely
• 37-38 weeks is considered full-term for twins with over 50% of twins being born BEFORE 37 weeks. I am currently 37 weeks and have beat the odds! :-)
• Identical twins do not have identical fingerprints. Fingerprints are formed from experiences in the womb.
• It is more common for twins to be left handed than a singleton. 
• Just after Christmas, Ashley Gardner delivered a beautiful set of quadruplets at 29 weeks gestation. Yes, they were conceived by IVF, but the unique aspect of their story is that they only inserted two eggs. They both split spontaneously, creating two sets of identical twins!! I don't know for sure what the odds of that happening are, but I'm going to say that it is incredibly rare!

An Unexpected Hospital Trip

On our way to Will's parents' house to celebrate his thirtieth birthday with family yesterday, I received a phone call from my doctor. He asked how I was doing then said that he was about to ruin my day. He told me that my lab results indicated that I had pre-eclampsia, which has always been a fear with this pregnancy, especially for the past few weeks, but I honestly never thought it would happen to me. So he told me to come to the hospital and check in for monitoring. He said that there was a chance that if the babies and I were stable, I could go home, but there was also a chance that I would be transferred to the other hospital in town that has a NICU where I would stay put until the babies were born. So we continued on to Will's parents' house and after alerting the troops, he opened his birthday presents very quickly, ate a quick helping of his birthday lunch (stroganoff, his favorite) then they sent us off with some birthday cake, keeping the kids for us. We got to the hospital and they hooked me up to monitors with five straps around my belly and a blood pressure cuff that took my pressure every 15 minutes. Baby B did NOT like the tight straps and kept rolling around so the nurse would have to come back in and readjust the monitor. They got me positioned on my left side with a pillow behind me and told me not to move...for three hours! Have you ever tried sitting perfectly still in an uncomfortable hospital bed for three hours when severely pregnant? Not fun! I had to use the restroom and my back and left hip got so sore! After a while, my doctor came back in and said that my blood pressure was excellent and that I could go home. He said that I need to take it easy and be very careful. He ordered me to be on "very limited activity," which is not bed rest but almost! No running errands, no chasing kids around, staying off my feet as much as possible. I go back to see the doctor on Tuesday and we will reevaluate based on my blood pressure. So that is where I am right now.

The night before, we had dropped the kids off with their grandparents and went on a date to celebrate our 6th anniversary. They kept the kids overnight and we are so thankful to have had that time to relax and enjoy one another's company before things really started to get stressful and crazy! God's timing was perfect. :-) We are in the home stretch now, with just three weeks max left to go before we meet our little girls!  Please pray for us as we try to navigate these last few weeks with as little stress as possible so that my pressure will stay low and we can keep these babies in as long as possible!!

34 Week Update!

I've made it to a new milestone in this twin pregnancy! If I were to go into labor naturally at any point from now on, they will not take measures to stop it. Yay! That means that they would be considered healthy enough at this point for it to not be dangerous for them to come into the world. Even if they had to spend a little bit of time in the NICU, they would be quite healthy. I am proud of us for lasting this long!

So I received some good and bad news at my appointment yesterday. The good news is that both babies are measuring 5 lbs even and head down. They have never been more than a couple of ounces apart through the whole pregnancy, which is a very good thing for identical twins! It means that they are getting equal amounts of nutrients from their shared placenta. The doctor was also pleased with my blood sugar numbers and said that we can continue managing with diet only.

Now for the bad news. My blood pressure was high again for the second time in the last two appointments. It wasn't frighteningly high, but just enough to be concerned. The doctor ordered me to be on limited activity but NOT bed rest, praise the Lord! I am supposed to stay off my feet as much as possible but am still allowed to take care of my kids. I am being checked for pre-eclampsia but I am praying that it is just gestational high blood pressure, which isn't as dangerous as pre-e. I go back in a week and if my blood pressure is still high, then we will reconsider the timeline of when the best time for the babies to be born will be. They may come a little earlier than expected.

I am so thankful for family and friends who have come around to help us in so many ways! Right now two of my sisters in-law are downstairs cleaning my house for me. I am horrible about asking people for help and always feel bad but am very thankful for those who read between the lines and come over to help anyway. I better get used to it because I know that we will be needing more help after the babies come! We are learning a good lesson in accepting the kindness and generosity of others. :-)

Happy New Year

Happy New Year! It is now 2015. I can't believe how fast time seems to move these days. This is the year that my husband and I will turn 30. It's odd to think of myself as a near 30 year old because I still feel like a young lady. In my youth, a 30 year old was someone who had their life together and was, well, old! And now that I'm almost 30, it doesn't seem very old to me at all!

More importantly, however, is that this is the year our twins will be born. We will be seeing their sweet faces in no more than a month and that is incredible!! My only goals are for these babies to stay put as long as possible and for our family to make it through this year alive and well. That's not too much to ask for, right? ;-)

So please pray for us as we step into what will be the biggest year of our lives! It's going to be a crazy one and I am so excited!

10 Things I Can't Do That I Could With My Previous Pregnancies

This post is not meant to complain, but to remind myself that it is important to view things with a sense of humor sometimes and not take things so seriously. The other day somebody told me that I looked like a beached whale. I was not offended in the LEAST BIT because a) it was from someone that I am very close to who knows EXACTLY how I feel, also being a mother of twins and b) it is a very good description of how I actually feel. I probably wouldn't make it through the day if I couldn't see the humor in my many discomforts and annoyances. And looking at it from this perspective reminds me that I am blessed. The pain of being pregnant with twins is not a punishment, but an absolute gift from God that I am truly thankful for. 

So here it is, my list of 10 things that I can't do that I could do with my previous pregnancies:

1) Put on and take off socks

I actually CAN put on socks but it depends on the kind of socks, the time of day, and whether or not I can manage to hold my breath at the time. However, a friend from church gave me an occupational therapy care package complete with a sock putter-onner and a sock taker-offer (or what we call a "getter"). I'm sure they have other names but I don't know what they are. So now I can manage! I also have an amazing husband who literally gets a thrill out of putting my socks on for me. I guess it has something to do with me needing him. :-) I wonder how he'll feel when I ask him to cut and paint my toenails tonight. 

2) Drive

I can still manage to squeeze into the van to drive but the car is definitely off limits. With how fast these babies are growing, I'm sure I won't even be able to drive the van by my next OB appointment! 

3) Eat whatever I want

Yeah so I couldn't exactly eat whatever I wanted in my previous pregnancies but I never really had to worry. I ate well and managed to gain the minimum amount of weight in both pregnancies, but I didn't have to calculate every little thing before I even took a bite. "How much is a serving? Woah, a half of a cup isn't very much at all. How many carbohydrates are in this? How much of that is sugar? Does it have fiber in it? Okay, 23 minus 5. That's doable. Now I need something with protein. Protein. Protein. What has a good amount of protein in it?" This literally goes through my mind before I eat ANYTHING. And I didn't have to poke my finger 4 times a day! 

4) Bend over

Any woman who has ever been pregnant can tell you that bending over always gets difficult towards the end of pregnancy but I could still manage to do it with some discomfort. However, it has been a couple of months since I have been able to bend over without feeling lightheaded. And now the pain in my back, hips, and pelvis is so severe that bending over is just not really an option. I'm thankful to have willing little servants helpers who can easily bend over and pick things up for mommy! 

5) Special time with hubby

Impossible. Enough said. *blush blush*

6) Go out in public

I have never been so worried about germs in my life! I caught the swine flu when I was 37 weeks with my first and was SO sick! I ended up having to stay a night in the hospital. When my husband got sick a week later, I was so worried that we would be bringing our baby into a house of death. I can't imagine going through that while pregnant with twins! Now the chance of bringing germs into the house is much greater with two young children. The chances of having babies with compromised immune systems is also much greater with twins, so we are trying to limit contact with the outside world. I guess Amazon will be my buddy for the foreseeable future!

7) Make it through the day without crying

Whether it's broken glasses, almost late library movies, a sweet moment with one of the children, a kind gesture from my husband, a bad blood sugar reading, pain, lack of sleep, a sappy movie (or commercial), inability to find a shoe or my purse, or even the cat attempting to get on the kitchen counter, I can guarantee you that I will cry pretty much every day. 

8) Speak to my children calmly

I have no patience with the kids and I am constantly on the verge of exploding. I have been praying for patience and self-control but boy, those are hard to come by these days! 

9) Hold my children

This has been a tough one for me. I've never been big on carrying my kids around everywhere and only used some form of carrier when necessary, like when baby girl was always fussy when I was trying to make supper, but what mother doesn't enjoy holding her children on her lap and reading them a story or just giving them cuddles? I'm too big and uncomfortable for that now! As my son said the other day, "Mommy, your lap is getting buried." 

10) Get comfortable...ever

Yes, everyone knows that it is impossible to get comfortable at the end of pregnancy, but having more than one baby in there brings discomfort to a whole new level. And as my OB said at my last appointment, "It's going to get worse before it gets better!"

On the bright side, I know that it is all worth it. Soon we will have two new beautiful little blessings to add to our growing family. And I can only imagine how much easier future pregnancies (if there be such) will be! This has been a struggle and I know that the struggle will not end with the birth of our babies, but it is my prayer that God will use this experience to transform me into a more self-controlled,  patient, kind, mature, organized, and disciplined woman with a stronger desire to have a better relationship with the Lord. 

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

Major Update!

So I'm not very good at this. As you can see, it's been a while since I wrote a new post! A lot has happened in that time and I have had many ideas of what to write but never managed to make it to the computer with them. I wish I could say that I've just been too busy with Thanksgiving and Christmas and all that goes into the planning and preparing for both holidays, but I haven't actually been that busy since I decided to only leave the house out of absolute necessity a few weeks ago. I have just found other things to do with my time. Plus I have the memory of a peanut, making it difficult to remember to sit down and get to work.

So here is a not-so-quick update:

Our 5 year old son had surgery in mid-November to fix an intestinal issue. It was the most stressful and nerve-racking experience in my five years as a mother! However, he healed remarkably well and has had no other issues. Praise the Lord for a full recovery!

Right before Thanksgiving we were blessed with a beautiful mini-van for a very low price. The owner of the car lot goes to our church and gave us a fantastic deal, better than anything we could ever imagine! We are so thankful for him nudging us towards something that was a little out of our price range but that was completely worth it. It is the newest and nicest car that either of us have ever owned! We are living a debt free lifestyle so we paid cash and the van is officially ours!

We spent Thanksgiving with my husband's family then took off the day after for a trip to the Creation Museum in northern Kentucky for the weekend. We had a great time and learned a lot about God's creation! The kiddos did really well on the trip and we really enjoyed taking the road trip in our new van.

Where else do you get to ride a triceratops? 

Little girl LOVED the moving, roaring dinosaurs!

Shortly after returning from Kentucky the lovely ladies at my church threw me a baby shower! It was beautiful and fun and I feel blessed beyond measure that my church family was so thoughtful. We won't have to buy diapers for quite some time!

Our favorite time of the year is Christmas time and we really enjoyed taking part in our annual Christmas traditions! Decorating, looking at lights, baking, making gingerbread houses, singing Christmas hymns around the piano, and opening presents. We love celebrating the birth of Jesus by doing a nightly devotion with our Advent calendar. If it wasn't for our sweet boy loving that tradition above all others, we would have forgotten! My husband's family Christmas will be next weekend so it isn't quite over for us yet.

Our beautiful children

Our five year-old's first gingerbread house 

The boy loves setting up his own nativity scene

We are big fans of Christmas lights and were thrilled to have enough lights to put on the outside of the house this year!

My husband, son, and I worked together to make these cookies on Christmas day. A sweet woman from our church gave us the kit to make them, otherwise we never would have thought to do it!

Two very excited children on Christmas morning!

I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes in mid-December. I was so disappointed and remember crying the whole day I found out! I had never had issues with my blood sugar before and felt like it was the end of the world. I was quite dramatic about it. I had NO IDEA what to eat and the prospect of poking my finger with a needle four times a day for the next couple of months was quite daunting! However, it turns out that I have a pretty mild case and my doctor and I are hopeful that I can manage it with diet and stay off of medication. It has been difficult to retrain my brain from what I thought was good, healthy food to what is actually healthy for ME. Breakfast is the hardest meal of the day but I have been eating a lot of eggs and breakfast wraps. We joined eMeals with a diabetic family plan and have been able to eat some new yummy meals that everyone likes. I will be sharing some of my favorite meals on here in the future. My husband's family Christmas breakfast is oysters cooked with Bisquick and cinnamon rolls but I don't like oysters (or any seafood really) and I can only eat about 1/8 of one those delicious cinnamon rolls. So this week I am going to attempt to make my own diabetic friendly cinnamon rolls using almond flour, almond milk, applesauce, and Splenda. I'll update you on that venture!! 

I am currently 32 weeks pregnant with my sweet little twinnies! Despite being head down for most of our ultrasounds, they are currently head up. Baby B enjoys banging around inside the bottom of my rib cage and Baby A has decided that my bladder is a soccer ball. My back, hips, and pelvis have been more sore than I could imagine and I am waking up every hour at night to hips that are screaming in pain. Heaving myself to a different position is no easy task and it usually takes a while for me to fall back to sleep. I have contractions daily, although they are few and far between so I am not worried about pre-term labor (yet). At my last appointment I had a slightly high blood pressure which put the doctor on edge but since it went down a little bit after taking it again 15 minutes later, he said that we won't worry about it for right now. If it's high again at my next appointment then we'll go from there. My doctor is really great and believes in taking hurdles one step at a time and not dwelling on things that haven't happened yet, which cuts down greatly on the worry. But despite those things, the pregnancy is going well and we are praying for two healthy full term babies! 

Out of all the many ultrasounds we have had, our sweet girls have only had their heads apart once. Every other time their heads are right next to one another. I can't wait to see them sticking together after they are born!

This is me at 30 weeks with a tummy about as large as full term with my other two children. :-)